Thursday, May 21, 2015

Back and forth

I just did it. I just dropped off the registration packet for private school again. I just can't let it go.

Sunday, April 19, 2015

The rest of the trip and then some

Work started and it sucked away my will to do anything so there isn't a whole lot to say about that. I did venture into Old Town and made a friend from New York but I don't even really know her name. I didn't see anything cool and ate a lot of southwestern style food. I did finish my book which was great. I also figured out how to download rented movies one iPad so I had something to watch on the way home. It definitely made the flight more enjoyable.

I loved coming home to my babies. Isla was fully crawling, starting to pull herself up and had learned to blow raspberries. All of this in 4 days. She also was very constipated. It was overall a strange training. Usually I get tons of ideas and am excited to come home and get back to work. This was not the case at all. I am actually dreading returning to work. There have been a lot of changes at work lately and it is a different environment. There has been a lot of wait and see and so far I am not seeing anything good. 

I also officially told the school that we won't be returning next year. I am confident that we are making the right decision for our family. I am glad I am not locked into my job for the tuition money (still am for life money, but we will see what the year brings) as I am feeling the call to be home more and have been reminded of what I wanted to be doing when I was previously planning on eliminating work.

In other news I got a free journaling app. I feel compelled to use it but I am not sure why or how it would be an different then this except it could be just for me. It would be pretty cool on my pretend Mac.

Monday, April 13, 2015

New Mexico trip day 1

 In honor of the new book I am reading (you will understand in a little while) I am inspired to blog about the minute by minute activities of my trip. Plus I am traveling alone and I might as well be productive while talking to myself. 

Left the babies this morning and didn't cry though I wanted to. I always think about what happens if my plane crashes while I am gone. I send Justin texts updating my wishes for him and the kids if I die. It is probably his favorite part about me traveling. I got through security in record time. It was awesome. No yelling by any employees. I actually questioned briefly if I was still in Chicago. Everyone was so friendly. 

Stopped and bought a book. It is the third Bridget Jones book. I didn't even know it existed!

Got Starbucks and earned a point towards my rewards. Win win! I am on company money for food by this point so it feels like a free for all. There is obviously a budget but it is bigger than mine would be!

Almost got left behind because they forgot to call my group for boarding and I just sit there waiting my turn like the good little rule follower that I am. I have the back of the plane to myself. The guy across from me is watching all the movies I want to be watching on his MacBook that I wish I was owning. Jerk. How did he do that? I meant to download movies to my iPad and o forgot mainly because that would also require me figuring out how to do it.

Started knitting project and listened to my downloaded podcasts. (See! I can download things.) Started reading the new book. She is divorced!!!  This is all sorts of wrong. It better improve. Her play by play of her kids is funny. Maybe it will redeem the story.

I had vaguely looked up things to do in Albuquerque but never really mapped it out. It turns out that I am no where near any cultural sights. I am buy a mall and lots of chain food options. So... I Wales to a new food place I had never been to, went to a liquor store and got Justin a beer as a gift and went into the mall to get some bubble bath. A bubble bath in the middle of the afternoon without being interrupted is definitely not something I normally get to do. I read for a while, went and got a pedicure and got dinner. I got an email reminding me of work I need to get done soon. I have quite a list for the week which is just annoying. I just can't get into it today. I really miss my babies and the only thing that is good is trying to make it a me day.  Back to reading in bed and hopefully a long night of sleep.(Bridget did NOT get divorced. Whew.)

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

this is not a computer

At Bible study today, I got into a discussion about Macbooks.  I want one.  My heart dreams of one.  Why? I don't know. It is a truly worldly desire.  We discussed the benefits of streamlining apple products and all that.  She said that if I have a keyboard and an ipad then I don't really need a laptop.  I do indeed have those things so I decided to just pretend for tonight that I had a macbook.  It so far hasn't really worked that well. I am sure things will improve when I get used to the tiny little keyboard and stop making so many keying errors.  But I tried to update the format of my blog as well.  Correct some outdated links that had been pointed out to me ( and it wasn't letting me do it.  I couldn't pick a new template.  There are things that I just can't do on an ipad. Mind you it isn't a ton but there are things.  Bonus of using my ipad: finding pictures the kids have taken in my camera roll.

My van needs new brake pads and tie rods.  This is actually not all bad.  My sister's boyfriend is replacing the brake pads on Thursday.  The tie rods are actually covered under the warranty that we bought on the van.  There was already other repairs needed that would be covered under waranty so I am trying to pick a day next week when the kids don't have school and I don't have work, to just bring it in.  There are some logistics that make this hard. The main one is to take it in for free to have things fixed under warranty we have to go about an hour out of our way.  I could take it to the Nissan dealership close by, but that is $50.  At this point, I am that cheap to take it in for free and go out of my way.

In other news Isla has learned to sit up by herself and get into the sitting position.  I knew she was sort of close to figuring it out this weekend and today she just got it. She can't do it every time but she knows what she is doing.  She is also working on her bottom teeth.  You can see the little white spots where they will come in.  She smiles in a way that just shows off her gums.  It is like she wants me to see that something is happening.  We are working on more baby foods.  She still doesn't love eating but she doesn't mind it.  She would rather taste what we are having.  I don't mind it, but she hasn't really figured out the whole chewing thing.

We seem to be pretty set now on public school.  I don't see anything really changing our minds.  One quarter left at our current school.  I am sure it will go by quickly and then I might start freaking out. For now we are fine.  I think Justin is very relieved that we only have one more tuition payment to make. I know I am!

Sunday, March 22, 2015

A brand new week...

I am so glad this last week is over. We often have busy weeks but not multiple days in a row that leave me so drained and exhausted that I can just sit there doing nothing, because that time spent doing absolutely nothing is about all I can handle. 

The whole Dori business has been more dramatic than it ever should have been. Part of the problem was I did look back. I looked on Facebook for updates and I got shaming instead. This has been a week of mourning. I last heard from the agency who took Dori yesterday. I think it is all resolved and I am pretty good with our decision. Her attempts to make me feel bad just really proved my point of WHY we were no longer the best place for her. That doesn't take away the fact that we loved her and she was a part of our family. The kids think she went to be friends with another old dog. I fully believe this has been true!  In the last update I got, she is completely happy and adjusted and they think she is a great dog. I have seen pictures to prove it.

The huge grant for work is almost, almost, almost done. I have the finishing touches to do tomorrow and then just need to submit it. I worked almost twice as many hours last week as normal. I felt like I had lost touch with real life!bi am glad that tomorrow is a normal work day so I don't feel like it is something extra that I need to get done.

In other shallow news: my smashed nail is almost completely grown back! I am looking forward to painting them all nice for the annual fundraiser gala for work this weekend. 

I have also been pondering make up choices. I could seriously spend tons of time and money on make up if left to my own devices. Skin care in general actually. I just think make up is fun. ( I always went for the natural look in high school/college but that was actually more of the normal look and the fashion.) I might review products. Maybe. It might help me justify my habit!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

Sadness and woe

Dori went to her new, possibly permanent home. It was harder than I thought it would be. Dori seemed very nervous and unsettled. I panicked on the way home that I made the wrong choice. Why would I hurt everybody because of pee? Rhys had a good cry Friday. They both were fine today. I cried the whole way home after dropping her off. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

So many second thoughts

I can't sleep. I have too much on my mind. 

1. I am having second thoughts about public school. Justin is not having these second thoughts. I am having a really hard time. I help out with lunch at the school once a week.  I get to see both kids with their friends. When I compare Ava last year to this year, I have a really hard time imagining taking her away from her friends. She has really made a good group of friends and it seems like it is just starting to really come together now that the year is a 3rd of the way over. Last year she had friends, but she just kind of floated and didn't really know where to fit in.  What do we do? Do we put in for financial aid? Is scraping by for one more year just delaying the inevitable?

2. Dori. Our dog of 10 years. She has a serious peeing problem and has since the day we got her. I am at my end with her and I sent an email to the adoption place we got her from, never really imagining the address would still be valid. Well it was, and now they are prepared and ready to take Dori back and place her in a foster home. Justin says this is better than putting her down.  She had such horrible anxiety and social issues when we got her, it is hard to imagine that being the kind thing. Keeping her in the cage to keep her from peeing on the floor is also not the kind thing. I know I reached out to them, but I didn't expect an answer so now it all feels very sudden.  What do I tell the kids? How long will the guilt last?